如果看中英文版本比较费劲，可以看我的【简单解读版】。
下面是中英文版本第一部分，第二部分在这里。
You’re probably going to quit your new years resolution.
And that’s okay. Most people do (studies show 80-90% failure rates) because most people don’t actually want to change on a deep, internal level. That is, they go about changing their life in the completely wrong way. They create a new years resolution because everyone else does – humans want to impress others more than they want to impress themselves… we create a superficial meaning out of status games – but they don’t meet the requirements for true change, which goes a lot deeper than convincing yourself you’re going to be more disciplined or productive this year.
I’m not here to talk down on you. I’ve quit 10 times more goals than I’ve set. I think that should be the case for most people. But the fact that people try to change their lives and utterly fail almost every time holds true. So much so that it’s a meme for the gym to be crowded during January and return back to normal in February.
However, as much as I think new years resolutions are stupid, it’s always wise to reflect on the life you hate so you can launch yourself toward something that much better, as we will discuss.
Human nature is a b*tch, and the worst feeling is when you make a promise to yourself and can’t help but break it. You start to feel helpless, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you may continue the cycle for years on end: always wanting to change, but never being able to.
So whether you want to start the business, transform your body, or take the risk toward a more meaningful life without quitting after 2 weeks, I want to share 7 ideas you probably haven’t heard before on behavior change, psychology, and productivity so you can do just that in 2026.
This will be comprehensive.
This isn’t one of those letters that you read through and forget about.
This is something you will want to bookmark, take notes on, and set aside time to think about.
The protocol at the end – to dig deep into your psyche and uncover what you truly want in life – will take about a full day to complete, with effects that last far longer than that.
All I ask is that you dedicate your full attention to this. If you get bored skip to the next section and go back to fill in the blanks if you need to.
Let’s begin.
I – You aren’t where you want to be because you aren’t the person who would be there
你不在想去的地方，因为你不是那里的人
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, people only focus on one of the two requirements for success:
Changing your actions to make progress toward the goal (least important, second order)
Changing who you are so that your behavior naturally follows (most important, first order)
Most people set a surface-level goal, hype themselves up to remain disciplined for the first few weeks, then go back to their old ways without much struggle, because they were trying to build a great life on a rotting foundation.
If this doesn’t make sense, let’s run through an example.
Think of somebody successful. It can be a bodybuilder with a great physique, a founder/CEO worth hundreds of millions, or a charismatic dude who can chat up a group without a shred of anxiety entering his mind space.
Do you think the bodybuilder has to “grind” to eat healthy? Does the CEO have to discipline themselves to show up and lead the team? To you, it may seem like that on the surface, but the truth is that they can’t see themselves living any other way. The bodybuilder has to grind to eat unhealthily. The CEO has to force themself to lie in bed past their alarm clock, and they hate every second of it.
To some people, my own lifestyle seems a bit extreme and disciplined. To me, it’s natural, and I don’t say that to contrast it with any other kind of lifestyle. I simply enjoy living this way. When my mom tells me that I should take a break, go out, and have some fun… I hold my tongue from telling her, “If I weren’t having fun, why would I be doing what I’m doing?”
Do not take this next sentence lightly.
If you want a specific outcome in life, you must have the lifestyle that creates that outcome long before you reach it.
If someone says they want to lose 30 pounds, I often don’t believe them. Not because I don’t think they are capable, but because there are too many times when that same person says “they can’t wait until they’re done losing weight so they can start to enjoy life again.” I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t adopt the lifestyle that led to you losing the weight, for life, and find a reason with a higher gravitational pull than the one tying you to your previous ways, then you will go straight back to where you started, and you can unhappily say that you wasted the resource you will never get back: time.
When you truly change yourself, all of your habits that don’t move the needle toward your goal become disgusting, because you have a deep and profound awareness of what kind of life those actions compound into. You are okay with your current standards because you are not fully aware of what they are or what they lead to. We will discuss how to uncover this, but we need to build up to that.
You say you want to change. You say you want to “become financially free” and “get healthy,” but your actions show otherwise for a reason. And it goes a lot deeper than you think.
II – You aren’t where you want to be because you don’t want to be there
你不在想去的地方，因为你不想在那里
Tip
Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.
– Alfred Adler
If you want to change who you are, you must understand how the mind works so that you can start to reprogram it.
The first step to understanding the mind is to understand that all behavior is goal-oriented. When you think about it, this is kinda obvious, but when we dig into it, most people don’t want to hear it.
You take a step forward because you want to reach a certain location.
You scratch your nose because you want to make the itch go away.
Those ones are clear, but most of the time, your goals are unconscious. You may not realize that when you sit on the couch in the middle of the day, you are trying to burn time before your next responsibility, as one simple example.
On an even more unconscious and complex level, you pursue goals that can harm you, but you justify your actions in a way that is socially acceptable and doesn’t make you seem like a loser.
As an example, if you can’t stop procrastinating your work, you may justify it with the fact that you “lack discipline,” but in reality, you are attempting to achieve a goal like you always are. In this case, that goal could be to protect yourself from the judgment that comes from finishing and sharing your work.
If you say you want to quit your dead-end job, but stay in it without any real reason, you may start to think you don’t have enough courage, or that you were never really a “risk taker,” but the truth is that you are pursuing the goal of safety, predictability, and an excuse to not look like a failure to everyone else in your life who also works a dead-end job.
The lesson here is that real change requires changing your goals.
I don’t mean setting some surface level goal because the act of doing that serves an unconscious goal that is actually harming you. That’s been ran through enough in the productivity space. I mean changing your point of view. Because that’s what a goal is. A goal is a projection into the future that acts as a lens of perception which allows you to notice information, ideas, and resources that aid in you achieving that goal.
Now let’s dig a bit deeper, because if you don’t understand this, it only becomes more difficult to get out.
III – You aren’t where you want to be because you’re afraid to be there
你不在想去的地方，是因为你害怕那里
Tip
The important thing for you to remember is that it does not matter in the least how you got the idea or where it came from. You may never have met a professional hypnotist. You may never have been formally hypnotized. But if you have accepted an idea - from yourself, your teachers, your parents, friends, advertisements, from any other source - and further, if you are firmly convinced that idea is true, it has the same power over you as the hypnotist’s words have over the hypnotized subject.
– Maxwell Maltz
Here’s how you’ve become who you are today, and how you will become who you will be tomorrow. This is the anatomy of identity:
You want to achieve a goal
You perceive reality through the lens of that goal
You only notice “important” information and ideas that allows you to achieve that goal (learning)
You act toward that goal and receive feedback that you are progressing toward it
You repeat that behavior until it becomes automatic and unconscious (conditioning)
That behavior becomes a part of who you think you are (”I am the type of person who…”)
You defend your identity to maintain psychological consistency
Your identity shapes new goals, restarting the cycle, and if that identity is disadvantageous toward a good life, this gets bad very quick
The unfortunate reality is that you must break the cycle between steps 6 and 7, but this process starts when you are a child.
You have the goal of survival.
You are dependent on your parents to teach you how to survive. You had to conform. And since the way most people teach is through reward and punishment, unless you adopt their beliefs and values, you will be punished. You don’t actually think for yourself until you see through this.
But your parents have also gone through this process throughout their entire lives. That’s where it can get dangerous. Your parents, unless they broke the pattern themselves, were conditioned by the culturally accepted ideas of success from the Industrial age. They also carry the best and worst conditioning from their parents and their parents’ parents.
To take it a layer deeper, once you fulfill your physical survival needs (which is quite easy to do in today’s world, you’re practically born into safety), you start to survive on the conceptual or ideological level. You may not try to protect and reproduce your body, but you absolutely protect and reproduce your mind. It’s not difficult to see the war of ideas on the internet, and the participants are individual and group identities.
When your body feels threatened, you go into fight or flight.
When your identity feels threatened, the same thing happens.
If you are heavily identified with a political ideology (by the process we talked about just before), you will feel threatened when someone challenges your beliefs. You literally feel the stress. You feel, emotionally, like you were just slapped in the face. Since most people don’t analyze their emotions for truth, you tend to get stuck in echo chambers and double down on claims that harm yourself and others.
If you were raised in a religious household, and did not think for yourself, you will fight and attack others who threaten your psychological safety within that little bubble.
The same thing happens when you unconsciously see yourself as a lawyer, a gamer, or somebody else who would not take the actions to achieve a better life.
继续查看：👉 【第二部分】